


daydreaming

by shownus



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by Ponyo (2008), M/M, Romantic Comedy, Spring, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2020-07-19 10:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shownus/pseuds/shownus
Summary: In which a high Johnny kicks a drunk Ten in the head, resulting in them spending more time with each other then they'd like to admit.





	1. new years

**141231**  
Sloshing red solo cups, pinky-purple tinted lights, slippery faux wood flooring, so typical. Every student from their rather small high school was probably here.

"I swear to gawwwwwd, Johnny."

"What? What? Whaaaaat—? Don't like me—pokin' you?! No... tickling?!"

"God! Oh my god fuck off I swear to GOD!"  
A flying foot collided with Ten's face.

"Shit; did that actually— connect?!" It's interrupted with wheezing and John's high ass laughing into the couch cushions.

"Dude are you okay?"

Ten is on the floor, fetus position and holding his head.

"Chittaphon, I'm so.." Johnny crawls to the floor to pull the small nugget into his chest, rubbing his back. "I'm so sorry."

Ten is really crying. He can't hear it because, frankly, the host is a huge Taemin fan, and Artistic Groove is blaring. He can feel the soft vibrations and see his back contorting around his sorrows. Ten's dainty, feminine hands are wrapped up in his own hair, holding his head in pain. His grip so tight, the skin on his knuckles is pulled taut, revealing the bones not far from the surface of his hands. 

"I had no idea I kicked that hard," he chuckled out of guilt. "I guess you shouldn't tickle me like that, I just can't control myself.." The hyung's loose-lipped words are interrupted by the hard shove of a drunk boy, sending him stumbling backwards, into a few other people, who seem unbothered.

"You piece of fucking shit!" Ten screams. "How insensitive could you possibly be!!" He's stomping out of the hell hole, pushing through the wave of fellow teenagers and stepping in each puddle of spilled alcohol, grasping the side of his head.

Johnny, shocked, finally decides it would be a good time to hand his blunt to some random girl dancing, who takes it gratefully.

✃

Following through the cleared path previously dug through, Johnny avoids the sweaty bodies and reaches the front door, throwing it open and looking around, his breath drifting off as a cool white mist into the New Year. "The fuck..?" He shivers to himself. "Where are you?"

Actually, Ten is racing down the street.. his own cool breath floating off, made visible by each passing street light.

_Jesus FUCK. That really fucking HURT. My HEAD. My FEELINGS. I fucking HATE you, Johnny Seo._

He hugs his body as he runs through the collapsing snow beneath him. Ten lets his shoulders continuously shimmy and his grip around his ribs loosen, finally pushing himself with just enough stamina to throw his barely functioning body upon a park bench.

_I need another drink. And it's your fault, Johnny Seo._

Johnny has discovered clues, surprisingly, because— he's high. Johnny does not often make intelligent revelations while high, not counting the time he discovered he in fact had 10 fingers. He's stepping into each footprint left in the snow, covering up the small imprints with his bigger ones.

_Why can't you talk to me when you're not fucking drunk? Why do you completely ignore me? But, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me._

Chittaphon is seated comfortable on the bench, except not. Johnny is on his mind, worsening his horrid headache.

_Oh, crap._

Chunks. Spewed chunks on the snow before him. The heated mess sits, melting the snow, omitting the same hot air as his breath.

_Disgusting. Time to leave, immediately._

The taller spots the little nymph walking awfully clumsily away from the neighborhood playground, making him pick up speed to be able to catch up with him.  
Now, Ten may be completely steamed, but he wasn't deaf. The clomping feet behind him trigger a quick swivel on his front foot, but it all happens a little fast. Little Chittaphon's quick thinking was brilliant, but it was obvious that alcohol plays a fantastically effective part in his bodily functions. Although it was a good effort, Ten's body proves unable to fully register the event, leaving his arms flying out to his sides uselessly as he stumbled forward.  
Losing his balance, Ten falls face first into the snow, 

Johnny sprints with all his might to Ten's assistance, but not before the icy boy spits in his face and slurs a few choice words. Grabbing him by his jacket collar, Johnny yanks up on his shirt and hoists him over his shoulder, with much moxie. Not a second passes before John makes sure to adjust a hand firmly over his back and butt for support.

"Thas... fuckin... gayy." His hot and muffled words slowly fade into the wind as Johnny decides where to take him.

"...Shut up, fatty.." Johnny subconsciously grunts, turning his head to look for a place to drop off the sack of dead weight.

✃

"Are you okay? I'm really.."

"Yeah, I fucking know"

"Okay." He adjusts a dial in the truck that brings a blast of warmth to the confined space. Before Ten can appreciate the leather armrest and the comforting smell it gives off, Johnny motions for him to rest his head on the center console, grabbing random shit splayed across the dash and wedged between seats. Photographs that could've been taken better care of and random knick-knacks that fun-loving Johnny Seo must have found on any one of his many stupid but enticing adventures. Sometimes Ten wishes he was as carefree as Johnny seemed to be.

Johnny passes a stick of gum and some water to Ten, who looks to be deep in thought. He doesn't know when it happened, but Johnny can smell _it_ on his breath. It's awful. He's sort of glad he didn't see him do it, Johnny's weak like that, he probably would've followed suit.

Ten takes what's passed to his palms and his eyes drift along Johnny's large, slender hands.  
"Thank you." Ten pulls his knees up to his chest and avoids eye contact, although he is very curious as to what he looks like. Was he smiling really big, was he displaying his big brown puppy-dog eyes? He tries to shake off his thoughts with a squeeze of his eyes and a click of his tongue, but John omits a small giggle.

"What?" He finally turns to face him, to see that Johnny was in fact smiling.  
"Puppy-dog eyes...?" Johnny repeats, unable to bite back his smile.  
"Huh?!" Ten slides a hand over his mouth as his eyebrows rise like a summer tide.  
"Just; puppy-dog eyes." Johnny unwraps his own stick of gum and laughs as he slides the stick past his teeth.  
"I said that, out-loud?" The lack of words to explain the suffocating moment only gave more room to Johnny's unstoppable laughter.

✃

"Sorry for calling you fat. You're not really fat." Johnny adds to the quiet moment once his laughter eventually dies down.

"When did we establish my weight...?"

"You're cute."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Ten's eyes widen as his hands fail him, fumbling with the cap on his water bottle. Johnny's darkened voice bellows in his head on repeat.

_Make me. Make me. Make me. Make me.  
Make me. _

The pothead kicks off his boots, reaching to the seat behind him to grab a thick blanket. His well-watered friend's sight locked onto his straining neck, and each vein that protrudes.

"I don't want you to be cold.." He packs the blanket around the boy in the passenger seat.

"Why are you acting like you care about me?"  
Ten wipes his wet lips on his sleeve.

"I'm not... I don't." Johnny's eyes are only locked on Ten's lips and Ten's lips only. "I'm just being nice, I mean."

He lowers his head down to make eye contact with the set of beautiful lost eyes. "How charming.." his hand lifts up to rub his cheek absentmindedly.

"We're just drunk buddies right? We just... get beer.. and a blunt. Time of our—" a large belch silences the boys breathing for a second.  
"Lives. Time of our lives."

"You're so hetero..." Chittaphon sighs.

_Johnny Seo.. did you just drunk-friendzone yourself?_


	2. the big brain bump

**150403**  
A loud ferry horn blares, right on cue of course, habitually waking up the whole neighborhood at the bright and early time of seven forty-five on the dot.

The seaside town wakes up just like that, kids hustling with their decrepit backpacks, grabbing toast while they run out the door, moms and dads packing into cars with briefcases and stray papers and notes floating every which way at the slam of a car door.

Look at that, it's Friday already.

Ten awakes at the second horn in disarray, approximately nine thirty four.

_Where the hell am I?_  
_Who'd I fuck?_  
_Was I kidnapped?_  
_Do I still have my kidneys?_

A hand grazes along his cheek, causing his light-sensitive eyes to shoot wide open and flinch away from the touch.

"Woooah, Phon-ie, just trying to wake you up calmly. Sorry.." The feminine voice peeps from behind the couch.

"Huh?" His groggy voice questions as the lady leans in a lengthy struggle to reach over the concerned boy to place a mug of coffee on the smudged glass table. Ten doesn't dare to move, he'd rather not head-bump or nudge something that he really had no desire to touch.

"John already left, he told me he wanted you to sleep some more." She pulls on his chin to open his mouth, popping a Tylenol in the small gap created. "You really should stop doing all that drinking, babycakes. It's probably totally wrecking your liver. Getting a new one is especially difficult; especially if you gotta cut it out of the guy in your bathtub." She leaves a moment for Ten to grasp the joke or situation in general, but he says nothing. She laughs at her own joke. "Oh, I forgot! Adults can't be funny."

His eyes blink slowly as he dryly gulps down the pill and pulls his legs to his chest. "Oh come on, Miss Seo.."

She rustles his hair playfully and kisses his forehead. "Oh—" her lips turn sour. "Shower. You're nasty."

"O-okay." Ten stutters over his mind running a thousand thoughts.

She rushes along, grabbing a worn, brown duffel bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "Darling.. please.. sit with John at lunch. I know you two aren't as close anymore, but.. I honestly think he might be exaggerating the amount of friends he eats lunch with." She sighs heavily, already exhausted. "You could both use a friend, right?" She slams the door, prompting some tattered newspapers to fly into the air and float down carefully.

Deep and painful guilt bubbles in the pit of his stomach. Only the type of guilt someone would get from watching Johnny sit at an empty table for weeks straight. The type of guilt from not doing anything, just watching him pick at his tonkatsu and shuffle his Spotify playlists from 3 tables away. He's imagining him lying to her, 'Yeah my lunch table is always full; Today I swapped chips for a pudding cup; Doyoung helped me with some math homework!' Ten blinks some more as he reaches for the coffee mug. Grabbing by the slightly warmed handle and peering in to make eye contact with the lipstick smear on the half empty mug. He just feels sick.

"OH!" The door flings back open, the woman shuffling in her high heels as she switches out the cup she's gripped onto with the one his fingers lazily wrap around. "Love you! Be safe!" She kicks the papers on the linoleum out of the way of the door, almost flinging off her 'I Mean Business' heels— her words.

Now with a full mug and an abrupt wake up call, it seemed fit to get up and face the horrible day to come.

✃

Ms. Seo was that kind of mother. She made you feel warm and cared for. She didn't ever seem to totally have a complete grasp on boundaries yet, but she respected everyone she met, and Ten believed she really enjoyed life. He always felt a little better after seeing her, and he liked her jokes. Normally he would laugh at them- if he wasn't dying of a hangover. Ten would never take her for granted, she felt more like his mom than his biological one; and he always believed she deserved more appreciation, especially since her and Johnny weren't exactly close.

✃

It was a small town. Very busy, but small. Ten rubbed his head while waiting for the ferry to pass so he could continue his well-traveled path to _the worst place on planet-fucking-earth—_ his words. His hair remained damp from the shower, the strawberry and grapefruit body wash which sat on the hanging plastic shower shelf in Johnny's bathroom left Ten's head clouded, in a slight Spring haze. For a moment Ten got caught up in the thought of Johnny switching out his body washes dependent on each season, playing along with the smells that he thought might match. Like pine and almond for Winter, cinnamon and pumpkin for Autumn, peach and apricot for Summer, and of course, strawberry and grapefruit for Spring. A raised chunk of sidewalk causing Ten to stumble and curse under his breath brought his mind back to the task at hand. His head of course, still hurt. There was even a little bump.

_Maybe it's a hernia. A brain hernia. Maybe it will kill me, khrap. Cool. Cross your fingers, Tenaphon._

The ferry would scoot on by after emitting enough gray smoke to completely annihilate any living organism residing in houses within a 20 mile vicinity, and the little bridge would lower back down, and he'd walk over it, all glum and shit.

He'd wave to Taeil and Jaehyun, who worked at the Bagel Train together. They graduated last year, and Ten thinks they're lucky. Except they're being swarmed by customers and don't see him, so for the sake of his ever belittling dignity, he just pretends they wave back and smiles through the window of the bustling breakfast place.

It's rare, kids their age to still be on this little island. Normally they hitch a boat ride inland and go to some kinda-decent college and never come back. The only reason they're still here is because although they graduated top of their class and a burning desire to migrate; both have families holding them back.

Taeil's got a dying grandmother or something and Jae accidentally knocked up his girlfriend of 2 months and the she decided to keep it because "It's our flesh and blood! We can't just give it away!" Jaehyun's friend group watched him slowly decay as reality hit him. He was so stressed he was... it was horrible. Ten tried to comfort him, but damn, there was no point. He was depressed. It's different now though, he really loves it now, the idea of settling down doesn't seem so bad afterall. He's super excited for her to be born. He couldn't wait and spoiled the gender for himself, but Sunstra doesn't know still. Truthfully, the whole town knows except her.

Arriving at school as late as he was was actually unlike him. Normally he'd show when the doors opened and would hang out in the art room with Jaehyun's girlfriend, it almost became a huge ordeal— her being 17 and him being 18.. but the town kind of dropped it because neither parent tried to press charges, or whatever would be appropriate in a situation like that. Now she's 18 though, and Jaehyun's 19.

The fans would always be up on full blast, and the teacher would always play shitty country music from these big ass speakers, so it was a normal hangout for the two. They'd scribble or think of baby names or do homework or some other cheesy thing like that.

✃

Ten managed to find Sunstra during the class change and walked with her to their second period. They would speak in Thai to each other and ignore the looks from people who thought they were being gossiped about. Ten always thought it was quite bold for people to assume they were even worth being talked about.

"Phon-ie, should I take Jaehyun's name?" He coughed on his water and widened his eyes.

"What? Jung? You're taking his name? Are you getting married?" He wiped his mouth on his shirt. "And stop calling me that. 'Phony.' It's Ten now."

Sunstra: the only person who really reaped the consequences of the teen pregnancy. Her mother disowned her and dumped her into Jaehyun's house. It wasn't for the pregnancy though; it was for in general just.. doing it. Her mom was this strict Thai lady who'd call her up and ask how she was doing before beginning to scream how she was a disappointment before Sun would just hang up and blame it on the cell service.

"No, but if I'm having a baby shower, wouldn't it be better to have "Jung Sunstra and Jaehyun?" She shrugged awkwardly as she penciled in a flower she drew on graph paper.

"I mean, ask Jaehyun."

"You're supposed to be my friend, I'm supposed to ask you before asking him..." she mumbled before poking numbers into her calculator. Ten was kneeled on the floor next to her desk, resting his arms and chin on her papers.

"That's what girl 'space' friends are for." He murmured out in annoyance.

"Really?" She flicked his forehead with her pencil. "I have no girl friends. They all dropped me when I became a slut." She let go of her pencil to use air quotes.

He rubbed his forehead and stood up. "You're not." He said seriously, leaving a few seconds of silence afterwards. "I'm sorry, you're so beautiful and should do whatever your heart desires, sweetie. You're just marvelous!" He fanned his face and popped up on the balls of his feet while speaking with a Valley girl accent.

"That's, not—" she tried to be serious and tell him off, but when he lifted his finger up to his puckered lips and began sashaying in place, she burst into laughter and pulled up her binder to hide her flushed face.


	3. lunchtime

**150304**  
Johnny is alone at lunch. What a surprise.

He pokes at a piece of pork with one chopstick when a tray slides roughly down the table across from him. It's like nails on a chalkboard, he cups his palms to his ears and squints one eye at whoever this thing might be, ruining his quiet.

"Chittaphon..." Johnny peeps out, surprised he would even notice him in the large cafeteria.

"It's Ten" He corrects, sitting down and picking at his food immediately.

Johnny has his head tilting towards his meal, but his eyes waver up to Ten's face whenever he slowly lifts up a noodle or pepper. "Same thing." He mumbles, the silence lasts for a second, probably less, but they make quick eye contact. "Why are you here?" Johnny breaks the sound of Ten's slurping.

"Your eyes are still red." He states, ignoring the question with all food pushed to his left cheek.

"I bet." John retorts, annoyed.

Another slurp of noodles, and Ten speaks up again. "You're not supposed to talk to me now."

"Am I? I'm not?" He chuckles out, rolling his eyes before glaring back at Johnny. "Right, we're not supposed to talk when we're sober." He smiles, picking further at his lunch.

"Doesn't have to be like that." Johnny scoffs, keeping his head down.

"Then—" Ten rubs his mouth on his shirt. "Why would you.." his hands swirl around in a 'you get the point' manner. "You just told me to not talk to you." He sticks his chopsticks in his noodles and throws both elbows onto the table, staring into Johnny's puppy eyes.

"I never said thaaat." It comes out all shy and embarrassed, prompting Ten's eyebrows to shoot up, lips curling slightly at the corners of his mouth.

"Whatever. Your mom told me to sit with you." John's smile drops, and Ten rubs his forehead before slurping up one lone noodle, standing up and turning around. "I gotta meet up with Sunstra. I'll catch you later."

"..Mm— oh, bye." Johnny's voice cracks and disintegrates into nothing after realizing he was already gone. "Good talk." He pats his own thigh, pushing back his food and letting his head fall to the table.

✃

_He is standing up, tall and free on the pedals of his bike as he coasts downhill on Bongnae Road, cool wind brushing up his fluffed hair and shirt flapping rhythmically against his slim boyish body. "BEEP BEEP! Excuse me Miss!" He'd yell before zooming around his neighbor, a middle aged lady walking her 3 dogs. The sudden blur that would pass the peaceful family would send all 2 Great Danes and Cocker Spaniel in a mad dash to chase down the speed demon.  
Her panicked yelling for the pets' names were tuned out by the overjoyed laughter from the small boy who squatted on the back rim of the cycle, arms gripped tightly around Johnny's stomach that shook his whole body with loud squeals and constant giggling. _

✃

The horrendous ring of a school bell screeches over the 30 year old PA system and Johnny's eyes shoot open, a sweet layer of spring sweat glued his forehead to the smooth surface is ripped apart with his frantic state. He glances around the empty cafeteria before grabbing his stuff in big sweeping motions and turning directly into Sunstra and Ten. Actually it was just Ten, he stood proud in front of Sunstra's baby bump and smirked at his drug-buddy's sweaty appearance. "John, come on, I wasn't gonna just abandon you." He says while playfully punching his shoulder, pulling his fist back slow before pointing above his eyes. "You have a big red mark..." He swivels his finger above and between Johnny's eyebrows. "...All around here." Red forehead now the least of his problems, the daydreamer feels his cheeks with the back of his hands and rubs at his forehead.

"Hey, John... how have you been lately?" Sunstra asks rhetorically with a sweet smile and soft voice as she leans out from behind Ten. "How about some ice cream after school?"

✃

All on the edge of the dock, the three lost adolescents sit with flip-flopped feet dancing over the water. Sunstra got her ice cream first, claiming she could sense what the baby needed for nourishment, ice cream and cake often took the first spot. She bought her Blackberry cone in a cup with gummy bears and sour worms. Ten bought Dark Chocolate with fudge chunks and chocolate sprinkles in an Oreos Cookie cone. Johnny bought Strawberry in a cup. The tallest of the three has his upper arms resting on the guard rail, holding the styrofoam over the glistening ocean. They listened to the calm tides flow up and pat along the pebbled beach below the concrete platform they perched on.

Sunstra rested her cup on her stomach before turning to the quietest who was happily eating in silence. "Johnny?" She spoke softly to the boy she was separated from, courtesy of Ten, who scooched back to give them better view of each other.

"The baby's kicking." She smiled motioning to her big bump. "Cool." He thoughtfully replied, eating another spoonful of strawberry. Ten and Sunstra share a short glance at his stoic answer and she raises her voice a tad, "Johnny?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Can we switch?" She offers out her ice cream.  
He looks down at his favorite flavor, and back at her sweet face and rather large baby bump. "Sure."  
Ten falls back onto the dock and squeezes his eyes shut at the bright sun, sighing loudly over the giant's inability to properly socialize.

While trading off, she holds her cup up with John's hand under and stops. "Phon-ie is struggling with the geography of Africa in Global." She says, slowly releasing her ice cream into his palm.

"It's Ten, and no, I'm no—" Ten's eyebrows fold in confusion as Sunstra smacks his thigh, clearing her throat loudly.  
A quick few seconds pass of quiet, and Sunstra picks up from her last thought. "He just can't figure out where Nigeria is!" She laughs uneasily in an attempt to regain Johnny's attention. "You're doing really good in Global, aren't you? Maybe you can tutor him." It takes a moment for her to realize Johnny's eye contact is lost in another direction. "Johnny?" She repeats, her eyes following his gaze onto the boy she was sure had fallen asleep.

"Ten?"

"Chittaphon??"

Sunstra spoke up, shaking his arm.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Johnny muttered quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the dumb cliff hanger!! hope u liked it anyway :P


	4. exorcism

**150403**  
He looks so peaceful, so totally still, besides his eyes fluttering slightly.

"CHITTAPHON!" Sunstra screams at him, smacking his chest lightly. "Stop, stop, STOP IT!" Johnny pushes her arms off of him, standing up abruptly. "What's happening to him?" Tears prickle her eyes slightly and she watches him intently. "I don't know." John stressed, Ten's fingers begin flickering, from out spread to clenched fists, until everything freezes. Sunstra, now sat a few inches away, leans over him slightly. "Hello?" She peeps.

"What?" Ten runs his hand through his hair and sits up. Johnny's mouth lays agape, and Sunstra's voice is only progressing with higher octaves and faster speeds. "What? What?! What yourself! What did you just do? Do you think you're being funny, faking something like that? Acting like you're all possessed and everything? Chittaphon! Answer me! That's not funny! Ghosts are real, and you know how much they freak me out! Should we get a priest for you? Do you need to be exorcised?" Sunstra sputters some more words in Thai to which Ten quickly snaps back at before she inhales deeply and grabs a hard grip onto the railing next to her.

"Woah, you're pregnant, let's not pass out?" Ten stands up, offering a hand for Sunstra to hold before pulling it back quickly, gripping his head and clenching every muscle in his body. "Fuck, fuck fuck." Ten cries out, Johnny swiftly sliding his palm over his back to comfort him. "What is it?" The consoler asks, the tone of worry spreads through his veins like it flows in his bloodstream. "Ice pick headache." He painfully answers, slowly letting his hands fall to his sides, tossing his head back. "A what?"

The older one drops his hand and barely misses getting smacked by Ten's as his arms go limp. The angelic rays of sun shining onto his features, glimmering along his cheekbones and nose. His lips pout lazily as he exhales, overwhelming the pain with calm. His neck slightly darkened by the shadows of the great light rays contrast the honey gold tint smeared across Ten's features.

_Do it. Oh my god just do it._  
Do it. Please just do it.  
Imagine how great it'll be. 

_Take your hands and cup his face and tilt it a little but not too much and run a hand through his hair and make his eyes just slip a bit open so he can recognize the outline of your face covering the sun and—_

"Are you listening to me?" A voice breaks the daydream.

"No, what?" Johnny's questions, his vision floating away in a wispy, white cloud, popping at the sudden recognition of reality.

"I was explaining my headache, it just feels like someone is taking a fucking icepick to your brain," Ten starts crudely, mimicking himself holding a pick and swinging it at the ground. "Just, wham! Wham! Wham! Right in my brains! Mashing that shit to pulp!" He licks his bottom lip, checking back on Johnny's reaction to his explanation. "Oh." He says, nodding slightly, the glimmering gold prince now a mere figment of his imagination. "I've been getting them for a few months now I think." Johnny wishes he daydreamed through that, too.

"That's sucks." Sunstra states, reassuring the boys that she's still there and will not be forgotten. Shoveling another scoop of strawberry into her mouth. "So we need to get you exorcised.. like; I'm not the only one who saw that, right?" She glances at Johnny. "I don't know." He recalls, his mind tripping over the gorgeous sight he witnessed a second before. "Icepick headache." Seo repeats. "Brain to pulp."

"Okay, fine. Whatever you say." Sunstra offers the ice cream to the lost boy in front of her. "Trade?" She asks, offering the empty cup. "You just traded with me." The tallest states. "And.." he peered into the cup from above. "It's empty." She sighs heavily. "I'm pregnant." She declares, her eyes softening and begging desperately. "NO!" Johnny yells, holding his cone close to him.

"Let's go, my head hurts." Ten interrupts, folding his hands over one another uncomfortably. Sunstra squeezes Ten close in a hug, "See, if my best friend, Chittaphon didn't eat all of his ice cream so fast, I bet he would give it to me." She strokes the back of his head, making him flinch away from her. "Oh. Sorry." Sunstra peeps, her arms retreating to herself.

"It's Ten, and I need a drink." His voice gargles back fury. "Can't you do that.. later?" Sunstra struggles, not wanting to piss him off further, but it was almost 5 o'clock, and him getting a drink would mean her going home. "Sunstra—" he starts as Sunstra pleads "I can't do anything fun nowadays, let's just do something without alcohol or—" "Seo and I are gonna go." Ten's snarky claim interrupts her. Johnny's eyes split and he faces the fiery boy in disbelief. "Ten!" Johnny scolds as his forearm is grabbed. "I'm sure you're capable enough of calling for Jaehyun to come pick you up." He snarls, yanking the boy along with him, leaving the young to-be-mother alone with an empty styrofoam cup.

"What's wrong with you?" Johnny quietly asks, watching Ten's adam's apple throttle and veins pulsate. "I just need a fucking drink. We'll get you some bud. Just shut the fuck up."


	5. boyish

**150403**  
Ten's room is messy and smells like lavender and Old Spice deodorant. He has one lamp and a skylight, and a bed with the blankets thrown around so crazily, something had to of gone down. The almost silenced indie music with vibrates the desk slightly with each guitar strum, making pencils bounce lightly. He's got a wilting fern in a window and a keyboard that laid collapsed on the floor.

"You play piano?" Johnny asks shyly from the open door.

"Not much anymore. I can still play you something if you'd like." Johnny feels butterflies in his stomach at the offer.  
"Are you going to light it?" Ten's teeth bare around the twist-off cap of a bottle of beer.

"It's kind of early."

"Then leave."

His words are quiet and slightly reluctant, but Ten's poise practically revolts around John's presence. He doesn't want to leave, he doesn't want to leave him alone. "Don't feel bad about it," his voice reassured sarcastically. Waiting for another line failed, Johnny reeled up his slacked bait and turned his back, grabbing the door knob. A glance back, seeing his body strewn half-assed on his bed, a leg hanging off the side and eyes scanning over the art on the glass bottle. Quivering slightly with fresh intoxication.

_"Why do we do this?" He whispers._  
_"Do what?" Johnny replies._   
_"You hurt me. And leave me." His voice rattles the walls of the other's mind._   
_"I don't leave you. I can't leave you." Johnny's lips smile, but eyes sting a little._   
_"You hit me." Ten peeped, scooching himself further against the wall._   
_"No. No, that was— Chittaphon.." his eyebrows furrow in a faltering confusion. "That wasn't on purpose." He reassures, taking a few steps to approach the bundle on the corner of the bed._   
_"Stop!" He cries out, throwing his bottle of beer at the wall to the right of Johnny, making him scurry to the side, his face melting to terror. "Go away, go away." His eyes dribble out fast, streaming tears._   
_"It was an accident. I would never—"_

"Johnny!" Ten shouts, finally gripping his attention after pushing him back slightly. Suddenly, Ten is infront of him, hand around the neck of the bottle at his side. After a few steps, he's easily steadied, taking in his surroundings and waking himself up from his horrible thoughts. "John." He repeats, softer, locking his eyes. "You didn't even smoke." He smiles, smacking his arm in that boyish manner. "Ten.." Johnny feels his eyes prickling with tears.

The familiar loud and disturbing alarm blares over Ten's music, making his head snap back towards the radio. "Wow.. what a surprise" he laughs out. "Flash flood warning." He turns back slowly to the boy's wafting presence, inhaling as he flicks the lighter against what Johnny would refer to as his 'sixth finger.' Clearing his throat, Ten's eyes shift from Johnny's vacant ones to the floor before swiveling back to shut the stereo off.

"Why have you been falling in and out of consciousness lately?"

Instead of answering, he grabs the bottle from Ten's hands, reading the label out loud. "Anything stronger?"

"Let me guess— you want me to get you crack too?" He sweeps his black hair back before snatching the bottle back and throwing his head back to gulp down half of its contents. Lowering himself to his knees, Johnny crawls over to the window, cranking it open with a kick to the lever, quickly letting in the harsh winds from outside. "Shut the window." He commands from above him, setting the empty glass on the desk next to him. "How am I supposed to smoke?" The younger sighs, tilting his head back to look at the eyes staring down at him, stretching his arms out to Ten's stomach, tugging down on his shirt.

_A sudden grunt pierced through the winded room, making Johnny's arms recoil and body spin around quickly to face the noise. His head is cupped in his hands. "You shouldn't even be here." Ten says, his face reddening and begins tightening. "What?" Johnny asks, standing up._

_"Why do we do this?" Ten mumbles through hot spilling tears as he holds his head in pain._

His mind rattling around the words, his mouth stays closed and his brain stays silent. "John." He breathes out, lifting his face up from his palms. "Get the phone." His eyes glide towards the desk, where Ten's phone is lighting up sporadically. "What did you say?" Johnny prods, standing between the buzzing box and Ten's pained body.

"I said get the fucking phone." He wipes his face on his shirt, a bead of sweat slithering down his strained neck. "What the hell is wrong?" Johnny points to him, motioning up and around his whole body.

"I don't know! You fucking killed me and then skull-fucked my decapitated head! Good god! Get the fucking phone!" His whole soul screams at maximum capacity. Johnny's eyes bulging at the choice words and eyebrows folding in disturbance, he turns to the desk.

✃

(6) **Missed Calls from Sunstra**

 **Text Message; Sunstra**  
Chittaphon call me back please!!!

 **Text Message; Sunstra**  
Tenn!!!!!!! I think im having contractions

 **Text Message; Sunstra**  
No ones home and I don't have my license

 **Text Message; Sunstra**  
The streets are flooding and the hospital is too far!! Phon-ie please god I don't know what to do

 **Text Message; Sunstra**  
I cant do this alone i have no one else jaehyun is halfway across the island and the bridges are closed

✃

"What? What is it? Stop making that dumb face!" He yelled at him, grabbing the phone from his loose fingers.

"She's having her baby." He peeps quietly, eyes locked on the floor as Ten fumbled with his phone, trying to dial Sunstra back.


	6. grand mal

**150403**  
Ten is halfway down the stairs before Johnny snaps back to reality, tossing his blunt out the window and sprinting down after him. The rain is pouring, smacking with loud thwacks on the back of their necks as he unlocked the car. "Get in. Get in. Get in." Ten repeated as he slid into the car, slamming the key into ignition and twisting it harshly, each action being intensely watched by the moonchild-like eyes of Johnny Seo.

A minute on the road it was obvious that reaching Sunstra would be impossible. Water spread and succumbed the wheels of the car with ease, leaving the two dumbasses stranded in the empty street, with water being the only other entity for miles. "God, she's gonna die." Ten burst, punching the steering wheel, exerting a quick beep. "You know how many women died during childbirth before modern medicine? What if she needs surgery?" Ten's nose drips between coughs and snotty sniffs.

Johnny's eyes glide over the rising water, completely tuning out his whining. "We're not going to die." He whispers under his breath, staring at the furious ripples that landed atop the overflowing liquid. "She's not going to die." He looks at Ten, who's folded his body over his knees, holding his head. "Ten. We're going to be just fine. I promise." His voice is soothing against the rain on the roof and the gentle sloshing of water against the bottom of the car. "Ten," Johnny starts, beginning to rub his thighs nervously. "I asked for this." His eyes flicker to the window, then back to his lap. "I wanted this." Tears prickle around his eyes. "All I wanted was to be alone with you." He smiles at his own words, and Ten's disapproving silence. "It sounds stupid now, doesn't it?" He dances around the heartbreak, water enveloping him on all sides. "I wanted it to be just, you and me. No stupid fucking.." he chuckles, wiping his sappy face. "Weed. Beer." He exhales deeply, fiddling with his thumbs. "You aren't my friend. You'd say we are, you're just like that. You're a bitch when you're not drunk." He coughs into his elbow and rubs his nose on his sleeve. "You always make the rules. You're.. bossy. And blunt. Very blunt." He licks his top lip. "But still— when I zone out, I imagine these... amazingly realistic scenes. It's always you and me. They're getting scary now. I'm scared we're getting further from each other as the days pass. But; I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else." Johnny pushes his hair back from his face as he leans up. "I'm so sorry I hurt you at that party. I know you're not mad at me anymore. I know you know it was an accident, I know you forgave me already, but it hurts my... heart. It hurts my heart to know I hurt you." Surprising drops of water fall onto John's palms, and for a second he checks to see if the skylight is open, before realizing he's crying. "Ten, I think I like you."

He honks the horn 2 more times. Then a few more, then he starts slamming on the gas and brakes, then the horn again. "Stop! Stop! Chittaphon! Fucking stop! I'm so sorry!" He finally screams, attempting to grab at his flailing limbs, until he sees his face. His eyes rolled to the white, mouth agape and dribbling blood leaking from his bottom lip.

The rain slaps and dribbles downward on the windshield, the car begins rolling further into the water, erratic buzzing comes from both phones, the unyielding spazzing of all 4 limbs push Johnny further and further to the edge. Soft pained grunts fall from both of their mouths, John's eyes seep with confused tears and face burns with horrid terror. He's grabbing at each flick of the arm and kick of the leg, but they shake him off so easily and he's left weak, and unable to help. "Please, Chittaphon." He sobs into their death trap of a vehicle, attempting to pull the gearshift into park.

_Ten was seizing, right? Is this how Johnny hurt him? Was this all his fault?_

His phone rings, buzzes, and falls from the center console to Ten's lap. It was a millisecond, maybe. He wasn't even exactly sure if the caller ID read Sunstra, but it must've been her. He tries to grip the phone as it falls, but a wild palm smacks him across the face, jolting his body back in surprise, making the car roll forward just a tad more. Ten's torso contort with such vigor, his neck twisting to flash slivers of his pupils. Hyper-vigilant of his thrashing, he tries to grab at his phone, failing and getting an elbow to the nose, blood spews out in a curved line and onto the dashboard and windshield. The horn honks 3 more times against Ten's feet, the excess noise making John's body vibrate with the pure fury of not being able to help the one person whom he cares for the most.

He retreats back to the furthest corner of the car, holding his head against his knees and screaming bloody murder until everything halted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys um btw life hack if someone is having a seizure please do not touch them. thank u...


	7. aftershock

**150403**  
✃

10 minutes pass before either of them regain enough confidence that they won't break down once answering the phone.

"Sunstra?" A voice yelps across the line.  
"Chittaphon, Phon, Ten!" Her voice exclaims back with overwhelming relief. "Are you here? Where are you?" Sunstra is drowning in a pool of sweat on her living room floor.

"I'm— I'm so sorry." Ten rubs his face with his free hand. "But the rain stopped!" Sunstra cries out, gripping onto her thigh and preparing for another wave of pain. "Put me on speakerphone, so your hands can be free." Ten's pupils never falter from the slender hand stretched across his chest to his opposite shoulder. "Okay." She replies, breathing out shallowly. "I put out like, towels and shit." She assures him while smoothing out the cloth beneath her.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Ten asks, attempting to rev the engine of the drowning car. "Really? Are you fucking serious?" Sunstra snickers. "Good to know you still have a sense of humor in these trying times.." Chittaphon's hand leaves his face to fold over the one gripped on his shoulder. Johnny's face is buried into Ten's neck and shoulder, running constant tears across his collarbone. "We are stuck in like, feet of water. Multiple feet." Sunstra's breathing fastens into short and quick exhales. "Oh my god keep talking I don't think this Advil is working that well." Ten's mind blanks and he sits with lips slightly parted. Slow and gentle, he pulls his hand from Johnny's to hold his head closer to his cheek.

"I can try to google some stuff? Do you have questions I should look up?" Chittaphon asks, trying to be as helpful as he could be in the given situation. "Is Johnny with you?" Sun is quick to ask questions not exactly prevalent to herself. "Yes, he's with me.. in the car." "Okay. okay." She exhales deeply, Ten pulling the phone from his ear and wincing at the sudden sound.

"I'm so scared. Guys. I'm so scared." She starts to sniffle before wiping a hand under her nose. "Oh. Jaehyun is calling. I have to take this. Are you safe?"

"Oh! Yeah! We are fine. Take the call. I'm sure he will find a way to get to you, his family has a boat or something, right?" Ten laughs slightly before another pain shoots through his skull, cutting his laugh short and making him grip hard at John's hair. "Okay. Bye!" The call ends in an instant and Johnny looks up, watching Ten as he pulls his hands from John to fold over his head, as if to compress the pain into nonexistence.

The taller of the two looks up, his face beginning to relax as Ten can fully situate Johnny in between his arms. "I'm so sorry." He says, pushing his fingers through his own hair to fix Ten's ruffling. "I think I did this to you." He sniffles, making Ten smile over teary eyes and smack his back playfully. "Come on, you didn't do shit." The splattering of water on the roof begins to calm along with the boys emotions, and a minute of silence follows Ten's words.

"I heard you." His right hand holds Johnny's and his left hand brushes throughout his hair, messing up what the older had just attempted to fix.  
"I'm conscious for them, like... the first one, I... I didn't understand it, like-" He tries hard, but his words fail him and he can't describe anything. He just holds Johnny's hand in his lap like this. "I'm okay now."  
"I'm sorry I treat you so bad." Ten sniffled. The smallest noise leaves Johnny's mouth before Ten can smack a hand over it, giggling just enough to make Johnny give up the fight immediately and let him speak. "I think about you like that too. I never thought you would feel the same. I was just, I was just mean." "I sound so dumb, god. I can't use my words right."  
"You don't sound dumb..." The low and disgruntled mumble makes Chittaphon smile a little.  
"Okay." He prepared his voice for speaking again. "I thought.. if I kept you at this distance, maybe I could keep you around for a longer time. I don't even like beer. It tastes so bad." 

Ten chokes as they both laugh hard, Johnny feels so nice against him when he laughs. He doesn't feel heavy, even if he looks like he might be with his height, but he is weightless. Burdenless, comfortable, and when he laughs unevenly because of the awkward positioning, Ten wants nothing more than to stay in the car forever. Tight and compact with Johnny Seo, alone, like they wanted.

When the laughs fade and Ten reaches to unbuckle Johnny's seatbelt, he lets him. He lets him so he can lay flat on his back with his face right to Ten's. And he says seven words with all the confidence that Johnny Seo can physically muster: **"I really like you. Like, a lot."**

Then he leans up, and brushes Ten's cheek with his hand. And Ten kisses him first. He kisses him with everything he has been saving for Johnny, all the emotions he told himself he would not be able to commit to. So, maybe it wasn't a very professional or elegant kiss, but it's Johnny's first, so it's still perfect to him. "I really like you." Ten says back, in between their lips, and he cups his face as though it's his whole world. 

✃

The gear is shifted into reverse and Ten backs the car into the driveway, with one hand on the steering wheel, and one holding one of John's thumbs over the center console.


	8. to belong

**150403**

Johnny plays with the keychain on Ten's car keys while he sits in a ball on a chair in the hospital waiting room. He waits on both names and both room numbers. Jaehyun sits next to him with folded lips and shoots him a friendly smile. "Nerve-wracking." He says awkwardly. "Got that right." Johnny responds, turning back to face forward. "Haven't seen you in a while." Jaehyun prods, probably hoping to have a conversation to calm himself down. "Yeah, it's been a bit. You excited?" 

He chews his lip and digs his sneakers into the clean tile. "I used to not be. It used to scare me. I almost just up and left." Jaehyun looks embarrassed, but John pats his knee, like a father giving his son a pep talk, "Sometimes it's nice to wait things out and see where they go."

"Sure."

"But in your situation, if you left, you'd be dead. Like I would've killed you."

Johnny snorts, glancing at Jaehyun's terrified expression.

"You can't make jokes like that! You're too tall, you scare the fuck out of me." He pushes Johnny's elbow off of his armrest and buries his face into his hands.

Ten opens the door directly in front of Johnny, peeping out to see both boys laughing. Flapping his paper prescription like his own baby bird wing, he catches Johnny's attention.  
"You're oka- _mmghhgf_???!" His words get muffled into Ten's hair when his arms wrap miles around John's body. "I'm good. I'm good." 

✃

Sunstra is in labor for 6 hours, and when the doctor comes to wake the 3 boys up from their puppy pile, they trip over each other to run to her side. John exclaims something about not knowing something could stretch that much, and Ten smacks John for his 'unnecessary immaturity.'  
Jaehyun tells Sunstra she has never looked more beautiful, and Ten agrees. John also agrees after Jaehyun pinches his arm really hard. 

Even with all the noises and bustling in the small room, Johnny felt comforted. It's like he was feeling the sun's rays of warmth in the windowless room, even the clammy hands of the boys next to him. The corners of his mouth tug and his lip quakes, his chest is warm and his heart is full. Belonging. All Johnny had missed was the sense of belonging. Belonging and being appreciated. The faces around him were friends, people who had taught him new things and wanted to see him grow and improve. Johnny couldn't help but feel lucky. How lucky he was to be able to look at Ten's face and understand that things were going to be okay. Ten may not be a three bedroom bungalow, but he was still a home. He was Johnny's home, more than the one he would return to at night. 

This was a family, and he wondered if they would let him stay.


End file.
